If you tell people you hear voices in your head, they fear you, but if you tell them you hear a song in your head, it’s just human nature. Context is everything.

Speaking of songs in my head, I was walking through the warehouse at work the other day when the very popular song “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” by the late great Warren Zevon was playing on the radio. For no particular reason, the lyrics for an alternate version began to form in my head, and I decided I would collaborate with Warren on a completely unauthorized and unsanctioned version of his song. Warren, for the record; I make no profit from this blog! (You could play the video below first if you need a little help with music)

 

Lawyers, Guns and Money visits Zulu Delta 45

I went upstairs with some hookers; the way I always do.

How was I to know, they were with the Russians too?

I was laundering condo money in Moscow,

I took a little risk.

Send Kelly Ann Conway, the NRA, and crazy hicks;

Sarah Huckabee, get me out of this.

 

I’m a real stable genius

I came to drain the swamp; but somehow I got stuck,

With the Dark State closing in on me,

I’m down on my luck.

 

I’m hiding out in Mar-A-Lago

I’m a desperate man

Send Michael Cohen, my base, and money,

The shit has hit the fan.

 

I so sick of winning

I can’t take much more

I’d love to stay and con you,

But there’s a knock on the door.

 

He says his name is Mueller

He says jail is my fate.

I asked him why he’s doing this

He said “to make America great!”