We all need a quick laugh today because of the sick national news….so here goes…
There’s an expression in Rhode Island, and also a cautionary tale; “Be careful of what you say about people to other people, because in Rhode Island, Everybody Knows Everybody!”
It’s not true……….Buuuuuuutt…….it kind of is!
Even when it’s not true, the “waters of association” can get quite murky.
Some “Out-of-Staters” may find this information less than believable and challenge the assumption with a quiz to Johnny Local; “Hey, do you know Taylor Swift (who has an Ocean Mansion down in Watch Hill)?” It would be very rare for Johnny to flat out say “no.” What is more likely, is that Johnny would put his hand on his chin while he stalled for time and opportunity. After a pregnant pause (which he has no idea what that means), would say something like; “I know this guy….who knows this other guy who has a sister-in-law who works at Dunkin, who once served a ‘Regala Coffee’ to a guy who cleans ‘Tayla’s’ pool down in Westerly.” Make note that “second words” like Donuts and Swift are seldom used, as only saying the first word adds to the questionable familiarity of the situation.
Recently an article appeared in an online website GOLOCALPROV about some of the local population;
RI’s Influential: Berating, Verbal Abuse, Threats Against Police
https://www.golocalprov.com/news/RIs-Influential-Berating-Verbal-Abuse-Threats-Against-Police
This is nothing new in Rhode Island and nothing makes Rhode Islanders laugh harder than when the story comes out and the “catchphrase” of the incident is revealed, which is always some version of ” You have NO IDEA who I am, and how much trouble you just brought down on yourself.!!!”
Once again, some loud-mouth, “under the influence” resident made National News for yelling “I’m an A.G.” (Attorney General) to Police in Newport. The whole incident could have been avoided if the woman had just shut up and left the high end bar when she was cut off……….but NOOOOOO!
Sure, much of it was because she was drunk (we like using technical definitions here at ZD45), but at the core, her small-time DNA just couldn’t resist flaunting her imaginary power in someone’s face. I’ll leave the link and clip below.
The initial article was especially funny as it recounted the story of how another Lawyer (coincidence??) who got pulled over by the Police.
Along with the usual verbal abuse, threats, and berating, the individual “felt compelled” to additionally announce that not ONLY was he a Black Belt in Karate, but a licensed Pilot. Apparently, this individual, even in his advance stage of alcoholic influence, could sense that his enormous stature was not being giving the proper recognition and respect…..so,…. he “lowered the boom” on the officers with the ultimate accreditation; he had a “master scuba diver certification!!!!!!!”
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!
Not just a “Diver Certification,” but a MASTER Certification!
Some of you might be thinking that the Police upon hearing this, dropped to their knees and begged for forgiveness for actually doing their job while pleading to be allowed to keep their livelihood!
Ah, no……thankfully that didn’t happen.
I could go on and on with more examples and absurdity to make us laugh today, but I’m heading out to get certified as a “sewing machine bobbin selector”………whoops, I mean MASTER SELECTOR; just in case I ever get pulled over in Rhode Island.
Zulu Delta 45 
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