Well, it’s been quite some time since “we’ve” visited Zulu’s Mailbox to catch up with a few of our readers. Let’s see what’s going on in “Z-World.”

Dear Zulu,

I know you like to hear about interesting news from other States in the Union. I wanted to send you this internet article about the best sandwich shops in each state…..especially the note about your home state of Rhode Island. It said, “The Sandwich Hut has been serving sandwiches from a little red building off Maine Street in Providence, Rhode Island.” What do you think? Signed; “Hungry in Harrisville”

Dear Hungry,

I have never been to this restaurant but will keep an eye out for it. As far as the article goes; I have made a gazillion spelling mistakes in my short literary lifetime. I will chalk this up to being human and trying to improve myself; not some AI generated BOT who doesn’t know the difference between the State of Maine, and the most common street name (Main) in EVERY city and town in America. Additionally, the restaurant is not even on Main Street. It’s on “North Main Street”….the Second Most Popular street name in every city and town in America.

For over 60 years, The Sandwich Hut has been serving sandwiches from a little red building off Maine Street in Providence. 

Dear Zulu,

I need some advice. While recently scrolling through an Online Dating App, I came across this profile for a woman I’d like to meet but I’m afraid she’s too sophisticated and well-traveled to be interested in an ordinary guy like me. There was a profile question to complete that said “This year I would like to finally…..” She wrote; “This year I would like to finally go to Japanese!” What should I do? Signed Kevin in Kansas

Dear Kevin,

I suspect there is far more going on with her profile than just a spelling mistake or Auto Correct. If you insist on pursuing this woman, who doesn’t seem to know the difference between Japan, the Country, and Japanese, the primary language spoken in Japan, I suggest you take her on a date to Kyoto Sushi & Steak in Overland, Kansas; tell her, its a very remote island in Japenese. Tell her, Japanese is one of your favorite places to visit. If she’s impressed, “You’re in like Fuji!” If things go really well, tell her you want to take her on a World Wide Travel Vacation! Just remember, Epcot Center at Walt Disney World can be very crowded during school vacations so plan ahead!

Dear Zulu,

I need a big favor. Recently I was visiting one of America’s National Parks. I completely ignored all the warning signs and direct orders from the Park Rangers about getting too close to the Wildlife so I could take a Selfie with a Buffalo…or Bison or whatever you call those fury cows. Before I could call an Uber and haul-ass away from that mangy mutt, it attacked me and mauled me quite seriously. So rude!! I am now suing the American Government for not controlling those animals….and I mean animals literally. I was hoping you could mention my case to your “Trillions of Followers” and sway public opinion in my favor to make me look better on the witness stand in court. How about it? I will pay you cash when I win this “slam-dunk” case! Signed; Mauled in Montana

Dear Mauled,

OH…..Trust Me!!! You’ve been mentioned! No charge!

Dear Zulu

I recently visited New England after a snow storm and was so excited to sample some “local cuisine”. I had visions of fresh snow and maple syrup on my pancakes, just like in so many pictures I had seen. I don’t know what you crazy people are thinking but the snow I got right in front of the hotel parking lot and sprinkled on my breakfast was disgusting. Don’t even try to tell me I took the wrong snow or it was anyplace other than the “delicious snow” of the Northeast; my wife took the picture below of me gathering the snow that very morning. I’m calling New England out for the liars that you are! Signed; Snow Job

Dear Snow Job,

You caught us! I am in complete agreement. So sorry for this. Yes, you should definitely give your hotel parking lot only one star in your Yelp Review under the food section. Parking lots must be held accountable!

Dear Zulu,

Inspired by all your travel Blogs, we finally booked a cruise to Venice, Italy. We were so excited, until we got there. What a horror show. The up side was our ship was very large, with low crowds and had awesome food (Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches every night!). The horrifying part was that we were constantly being attacked and boarded by rude thugs who stunk like gasoline, demanding we stop running drugs, and pay respect to their cult leader. I think someone said they were Adriatic Pirates?? Worst vacation EVER! We will never take your travel advice EVER again! Signed, Gladys and Neal from New Hampshire.

Dear Gladys and Neal,

You were not on a cruise ship in Venice, you were on an oil tanker in Venezuela! You need to smarten up….er…ah….Never mind. Shocking news; the “Live Free Or Die Travel Agency” in Laconia, NH has such a great reputation for exotic travel destinations! Better luck next time. Could I suggest Gaza?