“When we last left our hero Zulu Delta, he had just spotted the Mayor’s office in the Salt Lake City Hall”…….STOP IT!!……..Ok, Ok, I’m not much of a “cliff-hanger guy.” I think it’s tacky, but my previous post was getting a little long, and we had too much of the story to go; besides, what do they say about people who refer to themselves in the 3rd person? Never mind!
To the point, I didn’t get to meet the Mayor that day, but not for lack of trying.
Resuming…….I looked at the door and thought “what the hell;” I’m here. If I want to go talk to the Mayor, he probably wanted to talk to me; rationalization is a great thing! I casually looked back over my shoulder to see if that policeman from downstairs was behind me, and about to slap the big butterfly net over my head and haul me off. I stood up straight, moved forward, knocked on the door, and entered.
“Hello” I said to the woman behind the desk in the reception area. I introduced myself, told the woman I was a tourist, and asked if I could see the Mayor. Just like that. The woman looked up kindly, and said the Mayor was not in at the moment. “Do you have an appointment?” So many smart remarks…….so not the time to let them fly. “No,” I said. “Is there something I could help you with?” she said. Having no stealth salesman cold-call capabilities (thankfully), I blurted out; “Do you know who Joe Mollicone is?”
If I was Arlo Guthrie, this is the part where I would tell you I explained to her “about the 27- 8×10 glossy photographs, with the circles, and arrows, and the paragraph on the back of each one explaining” ….on, and on, and on. Well, I didn’t go on as long as the Alice’s Restaurant Massacre, but I explained everything pretty good. When I finally did stop talking, I realized she was staring at me with an expression that could only mean that she had pushed the “secret” button under her desk to call security several times, and she was horrified that they hadn’t arrived yet to drag me out.
Suddenly she burst out; “Oh my god!” That is so fascinating! How do you know about this? Tell me more! NO, NO, don’t tell me yet.” She grabbed the phone, dialed a number, and said to the person on the other end; “you’re not going to believe this; get the girls together. I’m bringing over a visitor that you have to meet!”
The woman jumped up, gently grabbed me by the arm, and told me I “had” to come meet her friends down the hall. At this point, I was really hoping she was telling the truth, because if I got tossed out of city hall by the Mayor’s secretary, and not the S.W.A.T team, I wouldn’t be able to tell this story…..let’s see……..FOREVER!
Down the hall we went, and once again, I recited the “Mollicone Muffin Mania Massacre for the assembled group of city employees. I got the same reverend silence, and then an outburst of applause, and laughter. Needless to say, they rather enjoyed my company, and I theirs. Eventually the time came for me to go; on my own free will I might add. One man said I was the best guest to come in ever. Another woman expressed disappointment to see me go, but invited me back anytime. A third woman said, if I ever come back….”We’ll have a muffin!”
Yea we will!