It’s true, I like Chinese food. I’ve accepted that if your going to eat this cuisine, you’re going to get some things that you don’t always like, want or asked for. To me, water chestnuts have no taste, contaminate the ordered dish, and have a funny texture. Of course there is always the culinary paranoia factor in the back of my head that says the water chestnuts are just cheap filler taking the place of the meat, or noodles I really want.

It’s pretty tough to buy any clothes these days that don’t have some type of label on them. Most people like that, and actually buy the clothes just for that label. Buying a car is different. A new, or even used automobile is usually a “major purchase” for anyone. For me, the last thing I want is to spend all that money only to have the salesman slap their dealership sticker on the back of it. I have avoided this on every car I’ve bought new, and have only tolerated it on used cars I bought from a 3rd party. Once a salesman balked when I told him I wouldn’t sign the final papers if his company put a sticker on my car. It was only when I asked him how much he was willing to pay me each month to drive around displaying his “billboard” on my car, that he backed off.

My favorite story for this matter was an insurance problem I had. I had owned this one car. Like most policies, I purchased a plan for a year at a time. At the end of one particular year, I decided to sell the car, and therefore did not renew that particular policy on its expiration date. I bought a new car (without the “advertising” on the back) and insured it with a different company than the previous car. After 6 months, I began to get “nasty letters” telling me I owed money to the insurance company to cover the policy. I spoke to the company and explained that I no longer had the car, or wanted the policy; that’s why I didn’t renew it. I thought that would take care of things; silly me! The insurance company letters increase their “impoliteness” with every correspondence. One day I got a call from a lawyer telling me this was the last chance to pay up or I would be sued. Very calmly, I reiterated; “I don’t own the car in violation. I have a new car, I let that policy lapse at the end of its term because I didn’t want, or need it.” The lawyer told me the insurance company automatically renewed the policy for an additional year, and that’s why I had to pay NOW! I asked her why they would do that “automatically?” She told me they were just being a “great, loyal” insurance company. In what could only be described to as divine brilliance, my reply to her was this; “that’s fascinating. I wasn’t aware insurance companies worked like that. So if I’m to understand this “great loyalness,” you’re telling me that if I was to have my policy cancelled for nonpayment, and then got in an accident two days after the cancellation, that because your client is so great, and loyal, they would still cover me for the accident?” There was an immense pregnant pause on the phone, and then the lawyer said ” I’m sorry for the misunderstanding Mr Delta, please considered this matter resolved, and we apologized for any inconvenience.”

She hung up the phone on me; and I’m still laughing.