Letter B-Belting Out The Bible

I love books!  In this very digital space, I have often written about books and bookstores. I’ve also written about people who write books, articles, poetry, movie and TV scripts, as well as blogs; we call them Authors.

Recently, I attended and an Authors Expo where I felt so fortunate to meet so many wonderful authors. /http://www.riauthors.org/

The people were so kind and generous with their time, insight, and perspective; even if you didn’t buy their books (which I bought many….another blog). It was also so exciting when I did buy their book and they asked my name and signed it personally. That’s what authors at Expos do.

I have bought many books as gifts for other people. I often inscribe the inside cover. It would be to convey this message; I love what this author has written, or what this artist has portrayed, and I give this book to you in the hope that you love it too. 

In my opinion, these are the only two times anyone would “sign” a book. 

Enter “He Who Will Not Be Named.” Oh, what the hell, let’s use his criminal name; “Individual One.”

Recently, ‘Individual One” had flown on Air Force One to the state of Alabama so he could allegedly view recent tornado damage the area suffered.

Well, before anyone had a chance to pitch a tent and fire up Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show, “Individual 1” was front and center signing Bibles. That’s right; signing Bibles.

The deaths and damage from the tornadoes were so sad, that I’m not sure what I find more incredulous; the people who supposedly rose up from the ashes to hold up a Bible for a con man to sign, or the con man who whipped out a pen to sign a “Holy Bible” as if it was the other book he didn’t write either; “The Art Of The Steal.”

I have decided to treat the whole situation as if I was at the book expo and wanted to interview an author with some questions about their book. Let’s get started with our top 5 questions.

1. Zulu Delta-“The Bible is a collection of 66 books written by more than 40 authors over more than 2,000 years. Where did you get the time and life span to write all of that?”

Individual 1. “As you know, I’m a very stable genius who has tons of “executive time” which mean I do nothing all day but watch Fox and Friends, so I have plenty of time to write-up books over thousands of years.

2. Zulu Delta– “One of the characters in your book; Jesus, is said to be “the very first socialist.” You bad mouth socialism all the time.

Individual 1. “Jesus….I barely know the guy. He was a low-level coffee boy. I just used him as a front man to whip up my Evangelic crowd before any of my campaign rallies.

3. Zulu Delta –Jesus spoke often about charity. What do you think?

Individual 1-“Absolutely!! I definitely advise all corrupt people to start-up their own charity; it’s so easy to launder money and treat the donation as your own personal piggy bank.

4. Zulu Delta– The vast amount of material in the Bible was selected, and or reduced down by the “Elders” at the Council of Nicaea in 325 A.D. Were you there?

Individual 1-“Probably! You know, I have been at so many important summits because of my success as a leader and educator at Trump University before the Southern District of New York shut it down and fined me for fraud. In fact, it’s often said that they only two elders that Kim Jong-un will listen to are Dennis Rodman and Me; so what does that tell you?”

5, Zulu Delta– What’s your favorite bible verse you wrote?

Individual 1– “Hey, they’re other people waiting in line with their sharpies ready…….do you want your Bible signed or not? I only stopped here in “The Bible Belt” because it was on the way to Mar a Lago and to thank Jeff Sessions for nothing!”


14 thoughts on “Letter B-Belting Out The Bible

  1. Factoid for you: ca. 20 yrs. ago Barry Moser wouldn’t sign his magnificent creation, he would sign a separate leaf of paper which would accompany one’s acquisition. FYI the description from his gallery:

    “If one looks back through the history of printing, many of the most lavish and ambitious projects have been Bibles in which the world’s greatest typographers, printers, and illustrators have allied to create a work of art worthy of a sacred text. Despite this rich tradition, the twentieth century has witnessed no major Bible in which both the New and Old Testaments were illustrated by a single artist. As we neared the end of the millennium, one of the world’s greatest living illustrators and bookmen focused his efforts on the book which has made the greatest impact on Western civilization.

    Barry Moser put himself through college as a Methodist preacher. While his calling to the ministry did not last, he retained a love and interest in the Bible. Moser’s 4 year labor of love has culminated in his magnum opus, the Pennyroyal Caxton Bible, the first Bible fully illustrated by one individual since Gustave Doré’s La Sainte Bible of 1865.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t want to get political, but any politician who signs a Bible… that has got to be the pinnacle of arrogance. And meanwhile the Pope is trying to end the practice of people kissing his ring.

    Liked by 1 person

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