1.Dear Zulu,

More, and more recently, I am reminded of the third blog you ever posted; https://zuludelta45.net/2012/10/22/if-im-your-honey-why-am-i-still-paying-for-breakfast/ . It could be my “overly- sensitive social sensibility,” but it seems that the “terms of endearment” originating from the diner and coffee shop employees has exploded exponentially. No longer does it seem they’re content with Honey, Hon, or Dear. It seems like new names are constantly being added and compounded with other names. Am I crazy to think this? Signed, Susan in Sacramento

Dear Suzie Shnook-ums,

You were right to consult me on crazy behavior, however Cupcake, there is a fine line between observation and an over-active imagination, Sweet Pumpkin. Having my own deft sense of observation  Honey Bun, I believe the only way such subliminal tip-enhancing commercial cuddle words could have evaded me, is if my alter-ego’s dignity sensors have been compromised due to endorphin overload as I eagerly await my milk and sugar-laced tea in a non-bio degradable vessel, along with a blueberry muffin (the cake, not the reader).You may be on to something Sweetie-Hon-Dear; keep me informed. 

2. Dear Zulu,

As we are on the verge of yet another April A-Z Blog Challenge, would it be too much to ask that that we could expect the spelling, and grammar to improve in contrast to your past literary exploits? Ian in London

Dear Zip Nut, A.K.A Ian,

Funny you should lecture me on grammar and spelling. Each time I watch some “English teli show”, my ears are assaulted by such comments as “Right, got to get to hospital.” How about just once, you say  “I’ve” or THE hospital. Then you say, I “shhhhhezzzzzualed” an appointment instead of saying “schedule.” It sounds like a Chinese take out dish.

For the record, I’ve been a ritter long anuff to no to ignor your to-bit koments. There’s nothing rong with my spelling or grammar after to which I said this anyhow two you.

BTW, l love that British comedy. Thanks for reading.

3. Dear Zulu,

I need your help. You’re in the media business right? I read your blog about so many murders on popular TV shows, https://zuludelta45.net/2015/06/28/aloha-from-the-medical-examiners-office/ so I know that you’re “in-tune” to my present state of moral anxiety. It’s the Olympic TV coverage; it’s a complete disregard for law and order (not related to the TV show). Let me explain. Because the major TV channels so foolishly decided that many Americans would want to watch the Olympics, they have postponed normally scheduled (that sounds better) programming for about two weeks. Do they have ANY IDEA, how many crimes will not be solved, how many murders will not be discovered, how much sexual tension between model-esq co-workers will dissipate, or the risk and peril I must endure to bypass the History and Discovery channel in my effort to find an old murder re-run with plenty of gratuitous violence and drama to add to my life so I can escape from the drama and violence of the everyday real world! Justice delayed is justice denied! Talk about Cold Cases!! Got any ideas? Ken in Kentucky.

Ahhhhhh Ken.

Ideas you ask. One day at the post office, the clerk asked my neighbor Steve if he had put any dangerous items in the box he was shipping; “only ideas” Steve replied. Aside from that, I’m not sure where to start; the fact that you think self-publishing (so no advertisements appear) my blog constitutes “the media business,” or borrowing a quote from the movie “10 Things I Hate About You;” you’re seriously unhinged! I’m not going to come off as so pious; pretending that I have never seen or enjoyed some TV show that contains murder, but if you’re hanging on SO tight to to a TV show, and the characters around it, it may be time to “step away from the edge.” Here try this, an off-beat comedy about the winter sport of curling. Just remember; DECAF man, DECAF!

4. Dear Zulu,

I’ll admit, I sometimes struggle to understand the world we live in. Last week I overheard something on the radio as I passed by. The “radio people” were talking about the foolish new craze where kids have been eating Thai pods. I thought, “dumb kids; eating vegetables…haahahaha!” I later found out the kids were not sampling Asian food, but were eating TIDE PODS…….packages of laundry detergent! How does this happen? Nancy in New Mexico

Dear Nancy,

Don’t beat yourself up. How do people put ketchup on eggs, knowingly steal books from the public library, brag about cheating on their wives, and make left-hand turns from the right-hand lane? Some mysteries will not be explained in “our” time! It’s better to see and not understand, than not see at all! Hang in there, and please keep reading!