Zulu’s Mailbox-Part One

flashing light

1. Dear Zulu, 

I cut men’s and women’s hair at a local salon. It’s the worst time of year. Everybody is coming in and bragging about “someplace” warm they’re going to soon. I’m stuck here in New England. To make matters worse, so often I read your blog, and your writing and posting pictures from freezing cold places with pictures from the Arctic Circle, and snow skiing around the world. Could you PLEASE stop immediately? Just reading the blog, I get so cold, all I want to do is crawl up in a tanning booth and get warm! (ZD note; an actual comment). Signed; Gina in Cranston

Dear Gina,

First of all, a tanning booth???? Please, the beach is bad enough for radiation, but at least that’s outside enjoying nature. Second, nobody needs to be ORANGE……NOBODY. As the old expression goes in New England…….”Put on a sweater!” Thanks for reading. 

2. Hey Delta……or Zulu Jackass……….or whatever the hell your name is……..You’re wrecking my life. I live here in Hong Kong. It was bad enough when the British turned Us over to the Chinese and left town, but now your blogs are killing me. Each time I go on the computer and search for porn, your dumb website shows up……..especially your “Porn of Allegiance” post https://zuludelta45.net/2016/04/19/porn-of-allegiance-vhs-vs-betamax/, and you know what the worst part is? There is NO…I repeat…NO porn in that post at all! It’s just some dumb pop history lesson about the early days of the VCR. Leave me alone!! Signed; Jason in Hong Kong

WOW…….Jason; who by the way is one of the most common names in Hong Kong according to this chart http://www.studentsoftheworld.info/penpals/stats.php3?Pays=HKG…….So “Jason”……take a deep breath. It sounds like you spend so much time on the computer, I’m amazed you even notice the British left (if you even knew they were there to begin with). Here’s an idea, Hong Kong has roughly 7.3 million people. Why don’t you turn of your machine and go out and actually meet some women in person?   Thanks for reading.

3. Dear Zulu, 

Them-there bleeding liberals are at it again; doing there (sic) best to destroy our ‘Merica! This time, they are spreading lies about someone who you love to post about in your blog; The Partridge Family. They’re claiming David Cassidy died ( just like they’re claiming them school kids have been executed  by NRA-backed, responsible gun owners. Say it loud; say it proud; “FAKE NEWS!!!” Shirley in Wisconsin.

Shirley; I’m not even sure I can complete this paragraph, and that has nothing to do with The Partridge Family………..(ooooohhhhhhh-whew)……..David Cassidy has died. Not everything you don’t like to hear or disagree with,  is fake. I…….I…….I…never mind.

4. Dear Zulu Delta,

“Please don’t leave me……..please don’t go!” And if you did, “Ain’t that a shame!” ….Because, because…….”I’m in love again!” Signed Katie in New Orleans

Dear Katie, 

Nothing would please me more than to hear you profess your love and praise for me, and my writing, but I suspect you have sent some of your favorite lyrics to the wrong website. As a lonely, and under-appreciated blogger, I should be heart-broken, but my smiling, literary soul can only say one thing: “Who doesn’t love the music of Antoine “Fats” Domino? Smile Sister! By the way, if you need more, also check out the version by Roomful of Blues, recorded live at the old Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel in Providence, Rhode Island

 

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